I’m A Model, Do You Know What I Mean

It started with Stori. Looking back, I can’t remember how we met or when the first time she came over the first time, all I know what I was very sick and I was on an IV at home for the third time in 4 months.

I was in a deep depression and I didn’t care much about living. I was dealing with advanced cancer. At that point all I wanted to do was lay down and let the darkness swallow me (wow that was goth). She showed up that day and brought crafts. She brought a stuffed bear and we sat in my living room making burlesque lingerie for it. It was awesome! It was a turning point in my depression. I saw a light.

“Just apply”, she said about the calendar . I wrestled with that statement for weeks. I picked everything about myself apart. I applied, hoping I would just get denied. Then it was January and I was in a black dress, 6″ heels, and my butt was propped up against an orange race car. How did I get here?

Then there was another…

And another one, 4 days after I got out of the hospital for the small bowel obstruction…

Then my hardest one. To try to accept the arrangements I had made, about the future I couldn’t change..

Enough sad stuff.

In November, the calendar for 2019 came out…with me in it! Lil’ old me!

Stori is rad! She forced me out of my shell, mostly kicking and screaming…and I’ve loved every minute of it! So much of the time, all it takes it that one special person to pick you up and hold that mirror up to your face so you can see how strong you truly are.